KM 1: Besides the resounding thought that crosses my mind as the first km slips away every run; "Man, that was easy," today I passed a sign, a bus bench actually, that read "Live Generously". As I ran by it I couldn't help but think: "Thanks, I don't mind if I do."
KM 2: The route I took today is missing the km marker at this spot or at least I can't find it. I guesstimate that it is approximately where I cross the South end of 18th Street in my city just down from the movie theatre. Every time I run by this spot I can't help but think: "Where in the heck is the km marker?"
KM 3: I ran past these two ladies who smelled wonderful, maybe it was one of them, or maybe it was the other, or maybe it was both. As I inhaled their smell I thought to myself, "I hope they can't smell me."
KM 4: My initial thought here was to write about the fact that I saw a group of children playing with a Safeway shopping cart in their yard which was a considerable distance from the nearest Safeway. "Time for new toys," I thought. Then I ran past another runner whose facial expression led me to believe that he was in total agony. "I wonder if I look like that?" As he changed directions, flew passed me, and his body got smaller and smaller as he got further and further ahead of me, I thought to myself, "There is no way he is running even close to as far as I am if he's running that fast!" Right, folks?! Right?!
KM 5: "Smokers need to stop smoking!" One of the absolute worst things about running outside is encountering a smoker. I'm running along, deeply breathing in the fresh air, and suddenly my fresh air is polluted by cigarette smoke. It's disgusting! To runners, breathing is key; breathing in putrid cigarette smoke is pretty much as bad as it gets when you've just run 4 km and have 10 more to.
KM 6: This is where my neck injury started to act up. I thought to myself, "Here we go, it's already bothering me and I still have 9 km to go." At this point in my run I also happened by a Steakhouse; luckily it smelled more like grease than steak so my mouth didn't water too much and I could go back to focusing on the fact that I wouldn't be eating anything for at least another hour.
KM 7: Crossing intersections while running is another downfall of running outside. The majority of the city loop keeps me off of high traffic streets, but here, I had to cross Victoria Avenue at the intersection of 34th Street a.k.a. a busy intersection. I jogged on the spot for a bit, did some j-running, stopped short of getting hit by a fat man in a truck, and as he glared at me I thought: "Sorry, fat man. Why don't you get out of your Ford F-150 (or whatever kind of huge ass truck he was driving) and run a few km." Ok, so maybe I was Angry Brandy at km 7. I also passed a family having photos taken in the autumn leaves and thought, "Aw, how precious." Enter, Not-So-Angry-Brandy. Then I passed a teenage girl walking her dog. The dog took a poop, the girl didn't clean it up, and Brandy thought, "How disgusting."
KM 8: It is October 13 here in Brandon, Manitoba, Canada which means temperatures are going below 0 degrees Celsius every night. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone had a sprinkler going in their backyard. I couldn't help but wonder: "What the heck are they watering? Their dead grass?" Just a tad bit later, a truck drove by me with a tailgate decal that read "Slednecks". "Clever," I thought.
KM 9: This part of my run took me into unfamiliar territory; I had never run this part of the city loop before. As I ran passed a little white Terrier and its owner, I was pleased to get a little dog kiss, or maybe it was just its wet little nose, but, "what a sweety," I thought, none-the-less.
Somewhere between KM 9 and KM 10 I ventured off the trail (not purposely) and did a little off-road running. Not great for feet in Vibrams.
KM 10: I had to cross another intersection here, more running on the spot, more angry looks from drivers, more of me not really giving a damn. Then I thought I was going to get run over because I heard what I thought was a vehicle revving its engine. It turned out that the noise was just the motor that was inflating a gigantic floating dummy. "Stupid floating dummy," I thought.
Somewhere between KM 10 and KM 11 I got myself off the trail again. Remember, in KM 9, I said I was in unfamiliar territory. I missed the km marker and likely took a short cut, but I figure the extra distance I ran between KM 9 and KM 10 made up for it.
KM 11: This is where my right foot started to really hurt: "Mind over Matter," I told myself. I ran through the Riverbank Discovery Centre here and it is always such a lovely run. I got a surge of energy when it came to running up the small hill that leads to the bridge over the river. A surge of energy at km 11 is the thing dreams are made of. "3 km and a bit more to go and feelin' fine," I thought.
KM 12: The 8th Street bridge a.k.a. the hill that nearly killed me. "Holy fuck!" A hill like that after 11 km is the thing nightmares are made of.
KM 13: This time it wasn't my fault that I almost got hit by a vehicle. The cab driver leaving the bar parking lot wasn't even looking for pedestrians. This time I was the one doing the glaring while thinking, "Watch where you're going, asshole." I also had to cross yet another crazy intersection on 1st Street, but I finally made it across with relatively little drama.
KM 14: When I do my long runs outside, I take along a CamelBak (explained here). I happened to need a drink as I ran passed a woman walking her dog. I guess I could have waited until we passed each other to take a drink, but it also amuses me to watch peoples' reactions when I drink out of the nozzle. I definitely got "the look" from her and it was enough to carry me through to the end of my run. "Yes, lady, I am sucking on a plastic nipple; in fact, I would very likely pass the fuck out without it. Carry on, now."
And that, folks, was my 14 thoughts in 14 km. Fun times! 14 donations would sure be swell as well :)
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